It was very late in the night. I can even say, it was very early in the morning. The time sense was hazy due to irregular sleep patterns for past few days. It's really worth experimenting with sleep as prolonged deprivation leads to a state where you start losing grip on time. At times, it feels really wonderful. And then, I get scared and go into long catch up phase.
Anyway, it was like that last night and I was moving in my room in a dazed state when I found a packed of nice, longish bindis in my cupboard. Now, a packet of bindi is as innocent as any other material, but the fact that it invoked in me a flood of emotions means that materials have something more to them than just stacks of atoms and molecules. Biwi had bought that packet of bindi in one of those Rajasthani shops in Udaipur, I was there, putting up with her shopping which is very unlike me in general. That bindi packet she left behind. I took it in my hands, observed it from all angles, not sure for how long, as the sense of time was jaded. Emotions played on my mind. The separation from my family, the distance, the catch ups at intervals, the pining for company, the warmth, it all flooded at once. In fact, it overwhelmed me for some time. Then I got scared as I felt I am losing grip on reality. So, I kept it back very carefully, as if it is made of some fragile material.
The bindis still linger on my mind. Everytime I open the cupboard, as my coffee stuff is there, I see the bindis and I smile. It's like, the bindi has replaced my wife in her absence, or probably, I have gone crazy.
As I said, materials are not just atoms packed in random way, they are more than that. And sometimes, they can evoke emotions in a way that even humans around a person cannot.
Anyway, it was like that last night and I was moving in my room in a dazed state when I found a packed of nice, longish bindis in my cupboard. Now, a packet of bindi is as innocent as any other material, but the fact that it invoked in me a flood of emotions means that materials have something more to them than just stacks of atoms and molecules. Biwi had bought that packet of bindi in one of those Rajasthani shops in Udaipur, I was there, putting up with her shopping which is very unlike me in general. That bindi packet she left behind. I took it in my hands, observed it from all angles, not sure for how long, as the sense of time was jaded. Emotions played on my mind. The separation from my family, the distance, the catch ups at intervals, the pining for company, the warmth, it all flooded at once. In fact, it overwhelmed me for some time. Then I got scared as I felt I am losing grip on reality. So, I kept it back very carefully, as if it is made of some fragile material.
The bindis still linger on my mind. Everytime I open the cupboard, as my coffee stuff is there, I see the bindis and I smile. It's like, the bindi has replaced my wife in her absence, or probably, I have gone crazy.
As I said, materials are not just atoms packed in random way, they are more than that. And sometimes, they can evoke emotions in a way that even humans around a person cannot.
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